March 19, 2018 changed my life. It was a beautiful spring day driving home on Highway 101 near the California Coast. I saw a truck up ahead entering the freeway. Then I saw break lights. I realized he was having trouble getting on the freeway, and I thought about how it was a bad onramp. I didn't feel too concerned because I thought the cars would figure it out, and I was far enough back. Suddenly, a red car slammed into the truck and came crossing over into my lane. I slammed on my brakes and gripped the steering wheel. I heard myself say, "We're going to crash...Please let us be okay." Once my car was hit, and I felt the car start to spin, I closed my eyes. I breathed in and out. Everything seemed to be in slow motion. I hear this is pretty typical.
Even though I knew I might die, I didn't feel afraid; I felt completely calm. It was just like when I sit quietly in my living room breathing in and out looking at the big redwood tree outside my window.
Spinning in my car on the freeway, I felt a space around me, like a pillow of air surrounding me. It was as though in that energy of space I was completely safe. Peace enveloped me.
When the car stopped turning, I had no idea which way I was facing on the freeway, so I sat still with my eyes closed waiting to see if a car might hit me head-on. If that was going to happen, I didn't want to see it. When all remained motionless I opened my eyes. I was facing traffic but off the road on the middle shoulder. Cars passed by, but I was out of the line of traffic.
"I'm alive!" Gratitude surged through me in such a wonderful way as I have never felt in my entire life.
Something changed in me that day. Not knowing if you are going to live or die makes you see life differently. Every day, I am grateful. I'm more present with people. I laugh more. I feel more loving. I sense the wonder of life that I am part of. I'm going to hold on to these new ways of feeling and seeing things because it's a great way to live life on planet Earth.
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